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Dealing with Complicated Child Custody Exchanges
Sharing custody of a child routinely presents many parents with the potential for conflict. Whether related to decisions on education or childcare, or the amount of time a child spends with each parent, points of disagreement are likely to arise.
In addition to the philosophical and custodial aspects of sharing parental responsibilities, the very act of exchanging custody of a child between parents can create a number of logistical and psychological challenges. This practical consequence of divorce is one that is easy to overlook when the parties are deciding how to allocate parental responsibilities. Moreover, these exchanges can have profound implications on the ability of parents to cooperate with one another.
Consequently, deciding where and when a custody exchange will take place is an important issue that should be directly addressed, especially if there is concern that outside factors, such as anxiety over seeing a new romantic interest or fear of an altercation, may provoke tension and thus make civil exchanges difficult, if not impossible. Certainly, the amount of interaction, which is often tied to the age of the child and the frequency of exchanges, is a big driver of the potential for conflict. Further, the context of child custody exchanges is likely to change as the child gets older, and is in less need of supervision and direction.
Long-Term Planning for Divorcing Parents
When divorced parents are asked what part of the experience was hardest to confront, most will respond that the impact the divorce had on their children was most difficult. A number of studies have shown that children thrive best in two-parent households that divorce suddenly and permanently takes away. However, parents still have the ability to mitigate this negative impact with proper intervention and long-term planning.
Shared child custody, the situation most divorced parents face, presents many logistical and financial challenges for the adults. Moreover, shared custody can be emotionally upsetting the child. To minimize the likelihood of future disputes between ex-spouses and to better protect the well-being of the child, advanced long-term planning should be a large aspect of any parenting plan or custody agreement and should be executed as part of any divorce or legal separation.
Illinois Governor Considering a Bill That Awards Custody of Pets in Divorce
When the divorce process is put into motion, sudden and abrupt shifts in the structure of the affected household shortly follow. As a parent/spouse moves out of the home, those left behind must figure out how to adjust to this new reality. Children are known to struggle with these drastic changes in living situations, and the focus of divorcing spouses are, understandably, geared towards making the transition as easy as possible.
Child custody, generally, is a big facet of many divorces. However, another member of a household that can be overlooked in the shuffle — one that still feels the impact of the divorce — is the family pet. How central the family pet is to a household varies greatly from family to family, but deciding which spouse will have primary responsibility for the animal's care can be a hotly contested issue.
Americans, in general, place a high degree of importance on their pets that is reflected in the amount of money consumers annually spend on pet-related purchases — $66.75 billion in 2016. Recognizing the new status of pets as full family members in many households, as well as the difficulties of determining which spouse will retain possession in a divorce, the Illinois Legislature passed a Bill that addresses this issue. The Bill is currently awaiting the governor's signature, and would provide clarification and direction to Courts when pet custody is unsettled.
Legal Separation vs. Divorce: Deciding Which is Right for You
The build-up that leads to the end of a marriage can be slow and methodical, with each spouse looking for ways to avoid the potential unfortunate outcome. The last step some couples take, before starting formal divorce proceedings, is to separate for a period of time in one final effort to salvage the marriage.
Periods of separation are commonly informal, and spouses mutually and privately decide how living arrangements, child custody and finances will be handled. Additionally, periods of separation will typically lead to either reconciliation or divorce; however, couples do have the option of formalizing their separation with the Courts.
Legal separation may be a mere formality before initiating divorce, or separation could be an in-between arrangement a couple remains in for a significant period of time. Legal separation provides most of the legal mechanisms and benefits offered in divorce, yet this process stops short of dissolving the marriage. Consider the following suggestions as to when couples may want to consider legal separation over divorce, the drawbacks of separation and how Courts handle these petitions.
Proposed Law Would Suspend Child Support for Parents in Jail
Disputes over child support from separated or divorced parents are fairly common, and each party has a legitimate stake in convincing the other why the money is being properly or poorly spent. Despite these disagreements, most parents ordered to pay child support realize the importance to the child's well-being, and continue to pay support regardless of contention with the other parent.
However, circumstances do arise that directly impact a parent's ability to pay child support, such as job loss and serious illness, and he or she may be motivated to ask a Court to modify the child support obligation to a level that is financially feasible.
Usually, constraints on a parent's ability to pay are connected to situations that engender some degree of sympathy or understanding. Still, some facts push others to have little to no compassion for the financially-strapped parent. One circumstance that squarely fits within this group are those parents who are incarcerated. People do not typically end up in jail or prison for following the law, but one obvious and serious consequence of incarceration is the inability of many of these parents to pay child support.
Divorce and Preserving Sibling Relationships
Divorce is unavoidably difficult for people, both inside and outside of a couple's core family. However, children almost universally suffer a negative impact from divorce. Having a sibling to commiserate with and draw support from can help to mitigate the damaging effects. Still, this system of shared support can only work if siblings live together, or at the very least, visit regularly.
Splitting up siblings in a divorce is rarely the best or desired option for the children involved. However, for practical or legal reasons, sibling separation may still occur. Large families, blended families with half-siblings, and children with significant age differences are all examples of circumstances in which the children may be split between each parent. The best interests of the child are always at the forefront of child-related family law cases, and Illinois specifically wants to enable separated siblings to maintain regular contact.
Dividing Debt in Divorce
One of the perks of marriage is sharing and receiving benefits from a spouse's property and income. However, this can become a huge negative when a couple divorces.
In addition to dividing marital assets, a divorcing couple is also expected to divide marital debt. Deciding how to handle these obligations can be tricky, and both parties may benefit from settling property division before a divorce is finalized, or at the very least, via a private agreement.
If the Court gets involved in deciding this issue, Illinois follows the equitable division of marital property system in divorce. Equitable division requires Courts to determine the fairest way to split a couple's marital property by taking into account a variety of factors set forth in Illinois statute. In practical terms, this may mean the division is not equal. Moreover, as the division concerns marital debt specifically, how the debt was accumulated can greatly influence how a Court decides to allocate that debt.
How a Spouse's Behavior Can Influence the Divorce
Rarely does one single issue or event push a spouse to file for divorce. Usually, divorce comes as problems pile up over time until, one day, the couple realizes the marriage cannot continue. The typical slow buildup to divorce does not mean that some issues are not more pivotal than others or that one overarching problem was the main catalyst,. Yet do the reasons behind the decision to end a marriage have any effect on the outcome of the divorce case?
Illinois is a no-fault divorce state that means that all a spouse must claim in the divorce petition in order for a Court to dissolve the marriage is that irreconcilable differences led to the breakdown of the marriage. While no particular grounds are needed to justify divorce, this does not mean the Court will not look at the specific behavior of a spouse when evaluating the appropriate provisions of the final divorce order, especially as it concerns property division.
Special Considerations for High-Earners Seeking Divorce
Any couple that enters the divorce process must contend with the fact that their marriage is over, and the image they had of the relationship is over. Regardless of the specific circumstances that led to the decision to dissolve the marriage, divorce typically requires the parties to address certain basic issues.
However, some couples present unique circumstances that have a direct and significant effect on the proper approach to divorce itself and the specific issues that are likely to be contentious. Couples with high net worth, especially, fall into the category of individuals who need a specific and personalized strategy to make the divorce process as streamlined and effective as possible.
Couples with considerable wealth have a lot to lose due to the complex and unique financial issues they bring to such cases. If divorce cases of this kind are not properly handled, the need for additional costly litigation is greatly increased. By focusing on the correct issues, however, all areas of disagreement can be satisfactorily settled within the initial divorce petition.
Differences of Religion and Child Custody
Raising a child requires both parents to compromise on key issues that form the basis of the child's core values. Even parents who have similar child-rearing philosophies are bound to have areas of disagreement. Education, medical care, extracurricular activities and friends are all areas in which parents are apt to conflict. However, one matter that has the potential to provoke the strongest reaction is religion. Navigating this issue as part of divorce and child custody decisions can be difficult, especially if each parent subscribes to a different religious practice.
As more people now appear to be entering into inter-faith marriages, legal resolution of disagreements over a child's religious upbringing may become more common if these marriages end in divorce. The recently announced divorce of Janet Jackson from her husband of four years is one example of a divorcing couple in this situation.
Introducing The Law Office of Nicholas W. Richardson
Nicholas W. Richardson is an experienced divorce lawyer and mediator whose comprehensive legal knowledge, commitment to clients and reputation for results bring lasting solutions to your problems.
The Law Office of Nicholas W. Richardson, P.C. serves clients in Illinois cities such as Palatine, Schaumburg, Inverness, Arlington Heights, Rolling Meadows, Glenview, Hoffman Estates, Bartlett, Des Plaines, Elk Grove Village, Mt. Prospect, Niles, Prospect Heights, Skokie, Streamwood, Barrington, Buffalo Grove, Wheeling, and others throughout Cook County, DuPage County, McHenry County, and Kane County.
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